


Not A Girl

by deathishauntedbyhumans



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Can be seen as ship, Explanations, Fist Bumping, Fluff, Gen, Inspired By Tumblr, Meant as Gen, Misunderstandings, POV Alternating, POV Third Person, Present Tense, Set somewhere between seasons 2 and 3, The Author Hasn't Seen Past Season 2, Timeline What Timeline, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Written as Gen, i mean i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-02-12 16:53:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12964005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathishauntedbyhumans/pseuds/deathishauntedbyhumans
Summary: “Trans,” Lance explains quietly, looking down. “Transgender. It means that… I was born and-- and raised being told that I was a girl, but I’ve never been a girl. I’ve always been a boy, trapped in what people on Earth say is a girl’s body. And on Altea, too, apparently. But I’m not… hiding anything, or trying to pretend I’m something I’m not. I’m me. I’m Lance, and I’m-- I’m not a girl.”





	Not A Girl

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by one of transmothmun's posts on tumblr and written before I watched Seasons 3 or 4. (I, uh... still haven't watched seasons 3 or 4, but that is bESIDE the point.)

It’s the mice that bring it up during a lull; the ship is quiet, the paladins are supposed to be sleeping --although Allura is certain that she heard Keith on the training deck when she walked past-- and she is… Well, for lack of a better term, she’s  _ bored.  _ She can’t help it. Back when Altea was at its peak, back when she hadn’t been locked in a capsule for ten thousand years, she had been constantly entertained. There was always someone around to speak with her, whether it was her father, or another young lady of the royal court, or even a suitor come to ask for her hand. There had always been something. The halls are dreadfully quiet. She’s taken to wandering them at odd hours like this, now that the memory of her father is gone for good. And this is where the mice find her, squeaking excitedly. 

She bends down to offer them a hand, and they all clamber aboard. She laughs softly, the sound echoing in the empty chamber around her. The sound bouncing back at her sobers her quickly. There used to be much more laughter in these halls. The silence is deafening. She doesn’t want to think about it. 

So she doesn’t. Instead, she turns her attention pointedly to the mice as they squeak and squeak, and she eventually understands what they’re trying to tell her and nearly drops them in shock. First Pidge had been a girl, and now…? It isn’t as though she has a  _ problem _ with it, of course… In fact, it only serves to confuse her further. If Lance is a girl, then why had she been so intent on  _ flirting  _ with her? In fact, the flirting only ever seems to get worse. 

Allura thanks the mice and lets them scamper off again before turning and making her way directly towards Lance’s room. This is something that she is going to get to the bottom of  _ immediately _ . No lies, no fidgeting around the truth. The paladins need to learn to trust her, and how will they do that if she doesn’t give them a little help? 

\--- --- ---

Lance is half-asleep when a sharp knock on his door startles him, and he shoves himself into an upright position without thinking. His head protests that, and he blinks back the headrush that follows before pushing himself up. The knock sounds again, and Lance frowns. 

He goes to the door without suspicion, though, half-expecting Keith to be on the other side, intent on yelling at him about one thing or another that he supposedly did wrong. They yell at each other a lot, but it’s okay, because they make a good team where it counts. Or something. Shiro says it a lot, but he says it while rubbing at his temples, so Lance isn’t sure what to make of it. 

It isn’t Keith, which is surprising, and it isn’t Shiro, either. Instead, Allura stands in the doorway, her eyes narrowed and her arms crossed. Lance raises his eyebrows at her curiously. 

“Lance,” she says in her lilting, exotic voice. He really does like the way she says his name, even if most of his flirting is just because he can. “May I come in?” 

Even more confused, now, Lance nods and steps aside, gesturing for her to enter. “Sorry, I’m kinda a mess,” he tells her belatedly as the door slides shut, awkwardly kicking his jacket out of the way and under the bed. 

“It’s fine.” Allura sits on the bed and stares at Lance as though he’s a particularly difficult puzzle piece that she’s attempting to fit into an incomplete puzzle, and then pats the space beside her. “Please, sit. There is a matter I would like to discuss with you.” 

For the first time, Lance finds himself growing nervous, but he disregards the feeling. It’s more than likely that Allura has finally grown tired of his flirting and is going to try and let him down (gently? Lance isn’t certain; Allura has been fierce since the moment she fell out of the pod when they met), or something along that vein. He isn’t expecting her to reach over and place a hand on his shoulder after he’s seated, and his eyes go wider. 

“Lance,” she begins, repeating his name, and he watches her with no small amount of trepidation as she goes on, her voice too gentle, too careful. “I had believed that we had all moved past lying to one another.” And Lance is lost, because this is absolutely out of left field. “Keeping secrets from myself and the rest of your fellow Paladins will not help to strengthen the bond you all have. It will do the opposite, if those secrets are left to fester.” She pauses, watching him expectantly, as though she expects him to understand. He doesn’t, and blinks blankly at her. She heaves a heavy sigh, removing her hand from his shoulder and crossing her arms irritably. 

“I am aware that you and Pidge are more similar than you have claimed, and I am not leaving this room until I receive an explanation,” she states firmly. 

Lance, for all of his bravado, is flabbergasted.  _ This  _ is the reason for all the theatrics? It’s not even… It isn’t even something he thinks about, not really, and he can’t imagine why it would be something that would concern Allura so desperately. So he leans back a little, crosses his own arms over his own chest, frowns at her. 

“Why does it matter if I’m trans?” he asks defensively, and for the first time since she’d walked into the room, Allura is the one blinking in confusion. 

“...Pardon?” 

Lance’s expression grows darker, and he shakes his head. “Of all the people we’ve met so far, I wouldn’t have expected  _ you  _ to have a problem with trans people,  _ Princess,”  _ he spits, and there is venom in his tone, and he finds himself uncharacteristically pleased with the way Allura’s eyes go wide. 

“I don’t understand,” she tells him, shaking her head. 

“I’m not a girl,” Lance tells her, firmly, hating how his voice threatens to break. He remembers all too vividly telling his mother, his siblings, his father, how terrified he had been to hear their reactions. They had accepted him, loved him despite their confusion and ignorance in the subject, but there was always that fear that had clung to him. 

“But the mice--” Allura begins, and Lance interrupts her. 

“The mice were wrong. I don’t think we should talk about this anymore.” Lance stands, obviously ready to escort Allura from the room, but Allura doesn’t move, and Lance doesn’t want to grab at her if he can at all help it. Instead, she continues to watch him, obviously uncertain and unwilling to leave without understanding. 

“What is ‘trans?’” she eventually asks, and Lance pauses in his anger to stare her down, looking for any sign that she was having him on. When he finds nothing, he breathes out a slow breath and sinks back onto the bed. 

“...You really don’t know,” he says. A statement. Allura slowly shakes her head in response, but says nothing. Waiting. 

“Trans,” Lance explains quietly, looking down. “Transgender. It means that… I was born and-- and raised being told that I was a girl, but I’ve never  _ been  _ a girl. I’ve always been a boy, trapped in what people on Earth say is a girl’s body. And on Altea, too, apparently. But I’m not… hiding anything, or trying to pretend I’m something I’m not. I’m me. I’m Lance, and I’m-- I’m not a girl.” 

Allura is silent for a long, long moment, and Lance absolutely refuses to look up and meet her gaze. 

“I apologise.” 

The sound of Allura’s voice does get him to look up, and he finds her gazing at him, eyes full of sorrow. 

“I did not realise that I was intruding on something so personal. It was my mistake, Lance.” 

Lance swallows hard, because even if she isn’t saying it in as many words, this is Allura’s way of telling him she understands as well as she can, and that she accepts him, and he knows that. 

“It’s okay,” he responds quietly, and Allura’s shoulders relax. It’s a subtle motion, but Lance is watching her, now, and he notices. “Earth and Altea are different. I shouldn’t have jumped down your throat for asking.” He closes his hand into a fist, offers it to her. “We cool?” 

Allura stares at his hand, confused once again, until Lance mimes for her to do the same. She does, albeit hesitantly, and Lance bumps their fists together and makes an explosion noise when he pulls his hand away. Allura, looking vaguely amused, mimics the action. 

“We are… cool,” she tells him, and that’s that. 

\--- --- ---

Later, when she is speaking with the mice alone in her own chambers, Allura gently scolds them for being so nosy. She also pulls up a database and searches the word “Transgender.” If one of her Paladins is this way, she will be understanding. And to be understanding… well, she wants to understand. 

**Author's Note:**

> If I said anything offensive or made anyone uncomfortable let me know??? I tried to be as sensitive as possible but bein' nonbinary I don't (obviously) have the experiences that a trans person does so I did my best. 
> 
> Come scream at me on tumblr @deathishauntedbyhumans. Kudos/comments are love!


End file.
